I woke up feeling awesome!

And for this moment, this one moment, I’m grateful.

Everything really can change in the blink of an eye, in life and in health.

**I’ve truly become grateful for the teeny tiniest of moments and seconds.**

I always hope these amazing feelings will last, but have learned that with breast cancer and chemotherapy, no matter how much I wish and hope and pray and try everything, the good euphoric and happy feelings don’t last … they shift and change like the tides and the beach sands.

BUT.

What has been solid as a rock? Never changing, ever growing?

The LOVE and power of total strangers!

This has been overwhelmingly beautiful. Their loyalty and consistent, solid efforts to push me towards a cure, has been mind blowing and breathtaking.

I’m a happy girl.

All the social media I started doing years ago, has paid off, with new friendships and love, prayers, courage, and so much good.

My pain may not be gone (yet) but the hope that I have been given by ALL of you, from strangers to dear old friends and family … and my past Sweet Adeline’s family! I haven’t forgotten about you … You too, are solid as boulders. Thank you!

Gushing an overflowing with love and gratitude, Brenda

Actually, I am thankful. Who wants breast cancer? Nobody.

BUT.

The gifts that have come to me in a multitude of ways, the new friendships that are developing as a result, from strangers I haven’t met, and a new strength and belief in myself, a boost in confidence, bravery and courage I didn’t think I could find, a feeling of being >completely< lifted UP up up, by the LOVE and spirt and prayers of literally hundreds of people .:: that ..: yes, I AM grateful for breast cancer and the struggles it flung me into.

I'm already a new ME, and I can't wait to see who I can become, as all of this unfolds over time.

My faith in humanity and in the kindness of strangers, is stronger than ever before.

I've seen people come forward and take ACTION to help me, offering, without me asking ... this outpouring of daily love, has been mind blowing.

Yeah, I'm grateful for struggle.

Love, Brenda

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A HUGE Thank You to Accent Inns Victoria B.C., for going above and beyond to accommodate me, during tough times with breast cancer, and making it possible, as a pet friendly hotel, for my to have my best friend, my buddy, Teddy my standard poodle, with me here in my room. He is my family. A pet friendly hotel is a blessing, when one doesn’t want to be away from family I start chemotherapy tomorrow morning. My first chemo treatment. Your staff has been SUPERB. Friendly, kind, professional, efficient, organized … and has made my stay here (I just arrived a little while ago) incredibly relaxing and comforting.

Thank you for making tough times, easier. I will be posting nothing but APPLAUSE and GOOD NEWS for this hotel, all across all social networks. I’m grateful.

Teddy sends a big ((hug)) Brenda Johima

P.S. As you can see, Teddy was pretty excited to arrive for his first ever hotel stay!

Teddy the standard poodle arrives at Accent Inns Victoria for his first pet friendly hotel stay.

Teddy the standard poodle arrives at Accent Inns Victoria for his first pet friendly hotel stay.

Treatment plan (if all goes well and as planned) …

They spoke of inserting a picc line or port, instead of and IV for chemotherapy.

We are going to try without doing this, even though chemotherapy can cause permanent damage to veins. This is scary stuff!

Treatment plan:

“only 4 pokes” … meaning:

1. Starting this coming Wednesday/Thursday, one chemotherapy treatment session every 3 weeks for 12 weeks. That’s only 4 times! I can do this!

2. I get a 3-4 week break.

3. Then, 3.5-4 weeks of radiation, every day, Monday to Friday.

That’s it! It’s still a long haul but about half of what they originally proposed, which would have been too intense for me.

Then … let the healing and recovery begin! At light speed. At GodSpeed, get me to a cure!

Love,
Brenda

they’re not yet meant to meet
maybe never
maybe sometime
powerful words
touching hearts
yet seems like
continents apart

— Brenda Johima

empty words
on papers found
love letters
that never really loved
yet she whispered words
on lonely nights
to self and dogs
cats and trees

— Brenda Johima

So let’s talk about some good news!!

1. A wasp stung me on my arm as I was getting into the vehicle to be driven from Fanny Bay down to Victoria.

I had a bad reaction. I’ve never reacted to a wasp sting in 53 years. I took Benedryl immediately.

We kept an eye in it at he cancer agency. It got worse. It’s on the arm they need to put the IV in for chemo.

My entire left upper arm swelled up and got hot and red.

What’s the good news?

The wasp saved me from having chemo!! Ha Ha.

Seriously. Thursday, the oncologist had a look, measured it, all the way from my forearm to my armpit, and cancelled chemotherapy and put me on antibiotics.

I’ll be rebooked for chemotherapy for next Wednesday/Thursday. Gotta psych myself up all over again.

2. A lovely friend took me out for dinner at Rebar (health food restaurant) … I almost never go out to dinner in Fanny Bay. It was like having a normal life. Thank YOU secret friend ;) you lifted my spirits.

3. Another secret friend met me for coffee in the morning and drove me to Future Shop and OMG!!! Gifted me with a brand new MacBook Pro!!! Seriously. We have been on Twitter and messaging on social networks for a long time but had never actually met before.

This person is an angel. I swear, one of the kindest people I have ever met.

Soooo, now I can work and be mobile while I am working on a cure!! My old laptop died in April 2013 and hasn’t been reparable. I have a desktop computer but I often need to lay down due to chronic pain, and now with cancer, I can keep my creative brain working, edit my photos on the fly, and work in creating a passive income while I am staying at the cancer lodge. It’s VERY boring, all the waiting and waiting. I’m ecstatic!! I can get my websites fixed up while resting and laying down, on and on. Technology changes lives and somebody very special just changed mine. I have so much gratitude and respect for this person. xx

4. A “Teddy Fund” has been started, from another new private donation!! So I can care for Teddy (or have some funds to pay for doggie day care or private in-home care if needed in a pinch) and make sure he’s well fed and cared for in my absence. And it’s a buffer in case I needed vet care visit while I’m in treatment. I’m saving all of these funds just for Teddy until I’m in the clear with cancer gone. Thank YOU!!!

Soooo my first stay at the cancer lodge and in Victoria was ooooozing with kindness and an outpouring of love, despite the financial stresses of drug costs and on and on.

I’m so HAPPY to share some good news with you all!! There’s a long long way to go with fundraising and all the rest that still had to fall into place, like a for sure placement for Teddy, but this trip to Victoria have me so much HOPE that everything is going to be OK.

Thank you Victoria! YYJ you’re a kind city and I’m grateful to have new friendships growing.

Love,
Brenda

Oh yes! P.S.

.5 My new friend and I came up with a little (doable) business idea I can do. I wanted to help others with breast cancer through this, but not something that will drain my energy. Something FUN is in the works! And will create a small bit of revenue in time.

OMG !!!!! The kindest person in the whole world just changed my life for the better!!

I was just gifted a new MacBook Pro laptop! So I can start my business(s) back online again and be mobile while dealing with my cancer cure!

I can now update my blog regularly while mobile, fix my websites effortlessly while on the road, or while staying at the cancer lodge for treatments, and work laying down when I am not feeling well in between treatments.

I can edit my photos again in comfort, like a pro photographer, and work wherever I am.

I can begin to generate some revenue again slowly, bit by bit, online.

There really are angels in this world!! You know who you are, and I’m so very grateful.

Technology can change lives and you just changed mine and gave me hope.

Never underestimate an act of kindness. This was a BIG one for this person to do for me. She’s heaven sent, I’m sure.

Loads of Love, and YaaaaHoooo!!
Brenda

P.S. I have a desktop computer but my MacBook Pro died in April of 2013 or so and hasn’t been reparable without tremendous expense. Now I can sell it for parts at least or recycle it in the electronic garbage.

P.S.P.S.

During our trip to pick up the new laptop, we also came up with a small business idea that can generate a bit of revenue for me, benefit other breast cancer patients at the same time, and give me a greater sense of purpose and accomplishment while kicking breast cancer out! It’s something creative and FUN, and won’t drain my energy while I’m in treatment or recovering. Stay tuned.

So I got the devastating news today from a medical oncologist that I have to come up with an additional $5000-$6000 to pay for cancer drugs that are not covered by BC Medical.

Yes, we are in Canada. In BC. This is not covered by medical.

Who has that kind of extra cash kicking around? ($1500.00 every 3 weeks for 12 weeks)

So we must up the fundraising efforts. I just found this out today and I’m shocked.

The pharmacist is waiting to hear back of possible eligibility to have some of this covered.

But if it is not, I’m looking forking out $1500.00 every 3 weeks for 12 weeks minimum, to boost my white blood cell count, in between chemotherapy treatments.

Add to that, hundreds for anti-nausea drugs also not covered by BC Medical.

Yeah, it’s been a bad day.

I have to have these drugs, as once they do chemo, my cancer cells, and good cells, white blood cells are compromised and I’ll be at great risk for infection, or worse.

Yes, I’m living a nightmare.

I never never ask for money, but if You have a blog or a website, or an email list, or Twitter, Facebook, anywhere you can share the fundraising link to the right, yeah, now I’m desperate.

Chemotherapy starts Friday morning.

Can you share this around please? There’s also a widget. Grab the code for blogs, websites.

Every penny helps. It doesn’t take much money to give, when it all adds up together.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/a-helping-hand-for-brenda/189216?utm_source=widget

Always Love,
Brenda