My Follow-Up Appointment at the BC Cancer Agency

Finished up with my medical oncologist appointment at the BC Cancer Agency Vancouver Island Centre. (Victoria)

Last time I had an appointment I was devastated with the news of having to come back in 2 months as you may remember.

Well, they still aren’t taking any chances with me. This time, I accepted it immediately.

Apparently I’m not quite ready to be released for 6-12 month follow ups.

I must come back in 2 months again.

And, they are referring me for testing (just to make sure) for the breast cancer gene which wasn’t done before. BRCA1 & BRCA2 Genetic Testing has been ordered. Better to be thorough. I accepted the oncologist’s recommendation to do so. Waiting for an appointment booking now. I think that you see a genetic counsellor first.

This testing is recommended in part, due to family history, with a family members 2X breast cancer, and now bone cancer.

I’m heading to the hotel, Accent Inns and am looking forward to putting my feet up!

At this moment I feel “OK” about the news. My emotions may shift later, but basically I’m thankful they are being cautious and thorough without instilling fear.

Although this is not the news I wanted to hear, I do feel blessed with superb medical care.

Love,
Brenda

Love Your Medical Social Worker

First appointment completed.

Met with my medical social worker at the BC Cancer Agency in Victoria, for follow up and I actually had fun. Yeah, fun.

I think that it’s the first time I laughed in an appointment instead of constantly crying and crying.

We had a great chat and she thinks I am doing awesome and that I have been very resourceful considering all the challenges I’ve been facing all at once.

She was realistic in saying likely I will have a hard year a head of me. I agree.

It may not be. It might be fantastic.

But I tend to think things will be great and then I am devastated when they are not, so I think I am learning to be more realistic.

I need to build an entire new life from scratch so a year may be reasonable.

The hardest challenge next, is to find a place to live so I can have some stability and really heal and move forward.

She said she was proud of me.

Those words, “I’m proud of you,” I realize, are powerful words, that people need to hear. At least I do. I’ll begin to tell people this more often also in future.

She applauded me, and although life has been filled with hard and tough roads, she said I seemed happier and that I’ll “land on my feet” with time.

She lifted my spirits, we laughed together, feelings of loneliness were shifted.

It was a good session. So far, a great day.

Next up, medical oncology.

Love,
Brenda

Letting Go

Letting go.

I have been doing a lot of letting go lately. More than the average.

Letting go of everything all at once, is only for the very brave and courageous … or … because the Universe says you must let go and “so there, take this!” … [Insert a minor bit of humour]

Letting go of job, career, house and home, relationships, family and friends, cancer, community and geography, on and on, all at the same time, to the point of leaving me with a blank slate, and completely alone, has felt like insanity, like chaos, and indeed has been, a crisis.

Some of this, I chose. Some of it, has just happened.

It’s been hard. Very hard. Painful. Lonely.

I never imagined it would turn out this hard. I never imagined that all of this could happen to me at the same time. I never knew how hard I would have to work to try to turn around an entire life. It’s completely overwhelming. How will I do it? Where will I go? Can I do it?

There has been no way around it, but to walk right into and through the fire. I’m not yet out the other side. Burned but not resentful. Simply exhausted.

It WILL get better!

And the good news is, so many kind humans are jumping in to lend a hand in some way. Things will turn around with time. XO

Love,

Brenda 

Soul

“There is a bigger picture than you or I could ever imagine. Your soul sees it. Let you soul lead you…turn down the volume of your smaller self. It may seem illogical but it will always work out. Today is a day to recognize how your soul delivers messages to you…listen…you will hear the magic.

— Colette Baron-Reid​